Since I more than likely will not get to or not want to blog before I turn 30, here it is.
If you were to tell me what my life would be like this year I would have laughed and said classically "yeah right" but little did I know that this year would be life changing for me.
So many incredible things have happened, getting my Master's degree, getting engaged and my favorite, the birth of my daughter Aubrey. She truly has changed my life in so many ways and since this is my "get-hot-mom-fitness-blog" instead of spending this time talking about all of the things I am thankful for, since I have been doing that every day for the past 28, I think it's time to be real about my fitness.
First of all, this is the first Thanksgiving in a long time that I can actually say I have no eating "rules", I am not going to leave anything off of my plate, I am not going to limit my calories, I am not going to track anything, I am not going to feel guilty and I sure as hell am not going to spend countless hours in the gym doing cardio until I want to stab people in the face. Going along with how Aubrey has changed me, she has also taught me many things and one of those things is that I need to learn balance.
Do I want to compete again? Yes
Do I still have bad habits? Yes
Do I still feel bad when I eat something not so healthy? yes
The difference though, which has also been confirmed by my loving fiancé is that it isn't the same as it was last year. He has told me that my habits aren't the same, aren't as extreme and for someone with severe thought disorders that is music to my ears. I never thought of it in the way that he described and it made me really think to myself, wow I really have come very far!
My confession in this blog is that for an entire month I will be on a gym strike, a workout strike and a feel bad for myself strike. I decided that I needed to focus more on my eating habits, and my thought process. I have been making weekly (obtainable) goals, not depriving myself and not weighing myself. I will however eventually take that tape measure back out and when the month is over I will bust out the scale but until then it was just all too much for my brain to handle. Not to mention trying to spend every minute I can with my daughter.
I could do home workouts, I could do a lot of things but for ME, taking out that aspect was what I needed even though some days I thought maybe it wasn't the best choice. Halfway in and I am glad I haven't given up.
What I hope to gain out of this month is the ability to track just calories, not fat, sodium, carbs, protein, sugar an so on. I also want to see how good water can be for me and although sometimes I want to chuck my water bottle across Broadway I know at the end of the day I feel better knowing the only thing I drank all day was water. Balance is another huge thing for me and by not having any "rules" learning how to eat things in moderation and not binging. I am proud to say that I haven't binged in a very long time.
So how is all of this going to tie into doing another competition? I think my intentions for my first one were to get the things out of the paragraph above not realizing I would get none of those things. What I hope is that before I attempt to do a competition again that I am able to understand the strictness of the dieting and training for the allotted time and that I will not need a meal plan the rest of my life because I WANT to be healthy, I want a healthy body and I do not need to go to extremes to get it. It is a lifestyle change and NOT a diet. So, although I am keeping track of calories I am nowhere near being on a diet because being on a diet for me means a lot of negative words and I would rather end the day on a positive note!
Now...off to a great Thanksgiving dinner with family!
I remember like it was yesterday, the day I took a pregnancy test, the morning after when I took another one and it was still positive. That day changed my life forever and I had no idea that I would be the person I am right now sitting at this laptop typing this.
There are a few things though that just rubbed me in ridiculous ways while preggo. All of a sudden everyone that I encountered became experts on pregnancy, how I should think feel and look all became these "knowns" among so many people. From the woman who had 5 kids telling me that they grow up fast to the guy cashing out at the gas station purchasing a 6 pack and some cigarettes telling me I look like I am about to explode when I had 4 months of pregnancy left. Without fail someone ALWAYS said something to me regardless if I asked or not. No one cared. It was an immediate oh wow, she's pregnant she must know that I am an expert on everything related to being pregnant and parenthood.
Funny thing is, for the things they always tell you; "you're going to get morning sickness" "they grow up fast" "get the epidural" "you're having a boy aren't you?" "you're having a girl aren't you" "you are showing high it must be a girl" "you are showing low it must be a girl" "you look like you are about to pop" "get your sleep now" "breastfeeding burns so many calories" "you will lose the weight faster if you breastfeed" the list goes on, there are so many things they didn't tell me. So I have decided to write a blog about it because clearly it's something that has been on my mind. Below you will find things that they don't tell you about pregnancy and parenthood!
(1) Your birth plan is going to go no where near as planned so you are better off just not making one. Seriously, birthing classes are great and all and they prepare you for a lot of things but it's highly unpredictable how the birth is going to go so having a plan and not even be able to follow any of it is really disappointing. What they should emphasize is going in with an open mind, rip the birth plan up because that baby is going to decide how things go
(2) Epidural's aren't at all what they are talked up to be. I was left feeling extremely numb for most of my lower half even BEFORE they had to do the emergency C-section. I understand it affects everyone differently but this was something I didn't expect. I also have no idea what a vaginal birth is like so I guess I can't really compare or throw these statements out there but still...when the doctor told me it wasn't meant to completely numb me, pardon me when it did I was a little upset. Not to mention they never told me I would shake so bad I would feel like I was dying
(3) You will love your significant other so much you will want 60 other children. Seriously I don't know if it was the Percocet's or what but damn I was in dream land. Although I still really do want 60 kids. I told him I wanted to be like the mother on 19 kids and counting, the joy Aubrey has brought me makes me understand why she has had so many kids and why most families choose to have more. Being a mom is more amazing than I have ever imagined and yeah I guess I love Andrew a lot but damn I was like an angel the first few weeks
(4) In a month you will hate your significant other and want to be a single mom especially if you are breastfeeding. The first few weeks were the hardest in my life and as I watched Andrew sleeping as Aubrey was eating every 45 minutes I wanted to throw rocks at him. She wasn't taking a bottle because we didn't want the nipple confusion so it was all me, all the time. 3 months later and I am so glad I never gave up because I know she loves me more than anything in the world and to see her look at me and smile brings me so much joy and love
(5) You will cry at every little thing. Seriously, Aubrey grew out of clothes and I cried. She cried and I cried. I will say they were right about them growing up really fast! Now every milestone she has is another emotional episode for myself
(6) You really do not lose a crazy amount of weight while breastfeeding. I am not saying this is everyone but for me it is just not happening and it is frustrating
(7) You will have to deal with being a controversial mother if you so choose to be with certain topics. These topics include, but are not limited to; vaccinations, pacifiers, co-sleeping, bed-sharing, length of breastfeeding, falling asleep at the nipple, using the nipple as a pacifier, baby spoiling, weaning, feeding solids, TV watching and even how often you are changing a diaper
(8) You will have a hard time being away from your baby even if he or she is just with your significant other in the same rom
Those are the ones I can think of so far but I have to stop because I can't stand not interacting with my daughter even though like in number 8 states she is in the same room with me as daddy but I miss her!!!
