Since I more than likely will not get to or not want to blog before I turn 30, here it is.
If you were to tell me what my life would be like this year I would have laughed and said classically "yeah right" but little did I know that this year would be life changing for me.
So many incredible things have happened, getting my Master's degree, getting engaged and my favorite, the birth of my daughter Aubrey. She truly has changed my life in so many ways and since this is my "get-hot-mom-fitness-blog" instead of spending this time talking about all of the things I am thankful for, since I have been doing that every day for the past 28, I think it's time to be real about my fitness.
First of all, this is the first Thanksgiving in a long time that I can actually say I have no eating "rules", I am not going to leave anything off of my plate, I am not going to limit my calories, I am not going to track anything, I am not going to feel guilty and I sure as hell am not going to spend countless hours in the gym doing cardio until I want to stab people in the face. Going along with how Aubrey has changed me, she has also taught me many things and one of those things is that I need to learn balance.
Do I want to compete again? Yes
Do I still have bad habits? Yes
Do I still feel bad when I eat something not so healthy? yes
The difference though, which has also been confirmed by my loving fiancé is that it isn't the same as it was last year. He has told me that my habits aren't the same, aren't as extreme and for someone with severe thought disorders that is music to my ears. I never thought of it in the way that he described and it made me really think to myself, wow I really have come very far!
My confession in this blog is that for an entire month I will be on a gym strike, a workout strike and a feel bad for myself strike. I decided that I needed to focus more on my eating habits, and my thought process. I have been making weekly (obtainable) goals, not depriving myself and not weighing myself. I will however eventually take that tape measure back out and when the month is over I will bust out the scale but until then it was just all too much for my brain to handle. Not to mention trying to spend every minute I can with my daughter.
I could do home workouts, I could do a lot of things but for ME, taking out that aspect was what I needed even though some days I thought maybe it wasn't the best choice. Halfway in and I am glad I haven't given up.
What I hope to gain out of this month is the ability to track just calories, not fat, sodium, carbs, protein, sugar an so on. I also want to see how good water can be for me and although sometimes I want to chuck my water bottle across Broadway I know at the end of the day I feel better knowing the only thing I drank all day was water. Balance is another huge thing for me and by not having any "rules" learning how to eat things in moderation and not binging. I am proud to say that I haven't binged in a very long time.
So how is all of this going to tie into doing another competition? I think my intentions for my first one were to get the things out of the paragraph above not realizing I would get none of those things. What I hope is that before I attempt to do a competition again that I am able to understand the strictness of the dieting and training for the allotted time and that I will not need a meal plan the rest of my life because I WANT to be healthy, I want a healthy body and I do not need to go to extremes to get it. It is a lifestyle change and NOT a diet. So, although I am keeping track of calories I am nowhere near being on a diet because being on a diet for me means a lot of negative words and I would rather end the day on a positive note!
Now...off to a great Thanksgiving dinner with family!
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